>.<

bleahx. jus got scolded by my mummy for going out last night. sob..she was so fierce la. she say i grow up le. cannot control anymore. then very angry. sigh...i dunno wad to tell her lor. sigh. but she okay le la. brought me to see the doctor. then told me to walk home myself, saying that since i can go all the way to VCH, walking home should not be a problem...sighs. so i walk home lor.

now i got new medicine. so many la. all weird weird one. got one even causes gastric. like huh? where got medicine cause gastric de. wad to do. have to suffer to get well lor. sigh... apparently the doc say it's a stronger kind. so will like that. duno la.

anyway talking bout yesterday. haha. met wils to go cine to get the watch. it was a miracle i could actually walk out of my house with me at 39 deg..bleahs. but i don want to waste your efforts. and i've been looking forward for this day for so so long la. i will not let it go like that de! was feeling quite ok la. only sometimes will feel very sick. but nvm=) then we went to got the watch and realised we met too early. cos getting the watch only less than 10 secs. haha. then we rotted. stoned at the food court, waiting for kah hwee. then great...my mum called and ask why i so naughty, go out for concert. she ask me for my temp i said i duno. i knew that if i say 39 ah she'll ask me to go back immediately de. sigh.

actually if you ask me bout the concert i wun be able to tell you much. haha oops. honestly i wasnt really paying attention. but i watched the solos and the dancing part. haha ys so funny:) not bad sia..haha. kah hwee was sleeping and so was i. poor wils jus had to watch alone. hee sorryy...

then this guy beside me so funny..haha. he suddenly whispered to me "are you ok?? you look very sick..." haha. then i was like " haha, i'm ok la." so funny la. suddenly out of nowhere, i duno him, he duno me, then he jus ask. so nicee:)

sigh why is it not subsiding?? tsk. nvm. oh it's 9 le. phy tutorial and wushu training has started. sigh. nvm i shall mug at home. if i can. i feel like my eyes are popping out cos of the heat. bleahx. nvm. i shall try to finish my gp work tdy if possible.

buhbye everyone..take care and cya.

oh and you ah. drink more water. i don want spread to you. i'll die of guilt:(

feeling terrible now...goodness. i hate it whenever i get fever...cant think properly. cant sit for long. cant slp. cant watch tv. cant do anything. so many things to do. yet i can only jus stone. super gan kor. nobody's at home. no one to talk to. no one around to keep my mind off the pain. but thanks junwen for caring.

later still got concert. sian. i wanted so badly to go and this happens at this GREAT time. i hate this. i really hate this. why mus this happen at this time? all the hopes i had for tonight. i hate this.

i take back wad i said. sorry.

0306 class bbq!!

okok..i know that has like NOTHING to do with me but haha...i made myself extra and thickskinned by crashing it. oh man. sorry. hope you guys din hate me for doing that or sth. sorry :S i jus wanted to go. missed you all so much. and i wanted to go see helenlen and pass her the stoopid poster..wahaha. i'm so mean

went to hel's house to crash jus now. so paiseh. but okay la. jus hope they didn't mind. sigh. well basically nothing much happened. jus that me, hel and teng had girls' talk. talking bout alot of stuffs. haha. and i also learned lots of stuff too. sighs. anywayy it was great talking to them. i love ya two=) helenlen ah...tsk tsk. haha. teng also ah...hm... :)

then we got scared by cats and stuff. ayer. so scary. if those cats don come near me is okay de lor. but i get really :S when i see them coming towards me. bleahx >.<

then they decided to take a group photo of the class outing and ya...obviously i know my limits(according to someone), so i took the photo for them. i mean. i wun want to be in the photo right? as much as i want to. i don belong in the photo.

well then i had a lonely walk home cos SOMEONE is cruel enough to do so. hmph. sigh nvm la. i understand. sigh. it's ok=) luckily i managed to catch the last few trains or i'll die. haha. stuck at woodlands or sth. i then don want lehs. haha.

tml going to meet elainey for lunch then go for kite making cip. hope it wun be boring tho...bleah. but for the sake of cip. i must persevere! haha. well generally i had a great day. really really happy to see all of you all again. really miss those times. sigh. but i'm glad to see you all so happy. your happiness is my content:) so yupp. hope to see you all so happy and bonded...

diao. my mum is pms-ing. jus scolded me for nth. irritating. i better end now or she'll scream. bleah! sigh see you all then. take care..

i duno wad i'm afraid of...perhaps it's me i don haf faith in. but anyways i know how i feel. jus hope wad i fear is jus a fear. not the truth.

NEW BLOGGIE!!

haha this is like my first time using blogger. i have no idea how to use it though... hm.. but it's definitely easier to use than diaryland la. at least you don have to edit the template to fit the diaryland system. haha. can jus copy and paste. and wala! blog is done.

hm..but this entry is like so pink. bleahx. so not like me. but i like the skin. so i guess i jus have to respect the designer's decision in making it pink ba. haha. chatting on msn with my fren now. haha. all the way from america. so if i write rubbish, pls pardon me. hehe. talking bout not very happy stuff actualy...hm... jus realised we are both in the same plight. sigh.. this ---- thing can be such an irritating thing sometimes. sighhh...

i want to eat durian!!! ok that was random. but i really want to. anna say she ate alot alr and i havent even smelt one..sob:( but i cant eat now. cos tml mus solo :S bleahx. hope i don screw it up or something.

ok i should jus end here and concentrate on my convo. take care everyone!

oh ya, whoever that "chee yang" was ah...sigh. don impose other ppl la haiyo. i can see it's not the real one de lor. haha.

HEIGHTS. FEAR. CONTENT=)

belay on?
on belay.
climbing.
climb on!

woohoo..jus finished my sabbaticals. it was great. i think it was fun. haha. altho i din even conquer a single wall. haha. oops. too high la. scaryy...

went for rock climibing sabbats ytd and tdy. haha. it wasn't as bad i thought it would. tiring. but fun. really train your arms and fingers. i ALMOST finished one wall. but i couldnt feel the rock so i looked down and whoa! i almost fainted in fear. so high. so i jus gave up. couldnt take it. siewfun xinyi and cheeyang were like screaming and screaming at me to not come down. but i couldnt la. bleahx. i jus couldnt. the fear. i jus cant ignore it. sighs.

then we tried harder ones. those that slants outwards. wah. tiring man. haha. at least i beat ng cheeyang lor. ha! ok i'm so mean. thsy say my physical state can bring me to the top. but it's the mental barrier that i cant overcome. sigh. it would take a lifetime for me to ever not be afraid of heights lor.

but it was really fun la. new experience. haha but tdy i refused to try out the absailing. I REFUSE TO! see the ladder i want to faint alr. oh man. so high.

anyway i'm so proud of myself:) haha.. i passed the rock climbing level one test. -claps- -jaw drops- "shermin? rock climbing? wad a joke" haha. well i did get it. ha!

hm nothing much abt sabbats le la. well i met ray agn ytd. but this time was more of on purpose. haha. really great to talk to you ray!! yupp:))

well today's rock climbing has lightened up my emotions alot. yea. feeling better le. guess i jus have to live day by day and be myself. anyway thanks junwen, thanks li bin. ya. thanks for listening:) i guess my life in HC is permenant. so i jus have to open my heart and accept and adapt. i jus hope you all know how i feel. ha..hopefully my nick can be changed.

looking forward to holidays..quite packed la but i really nid to make time to mug. oh man. i really really really really really really really really really really don want to fail anymore. so ya. buck up shermin!!

i shall end here then. take care everyone.

perhaps solitude isnt bad. but i cant. i cant live alone.